Your online destination where fashion and beauty meet crafting, cooking, and domestication for the busy 20/30 somethings in the world. Handy Andi is your all access pass to everything feminine and fabulous with a short, sweet, and to the point presentation. Here you will find fitness tips, beauty and style trends, party planning, interior design, baking, crafting, and a little for the mind and soul.
|Posted on January 9, 2018 at 11:40 AM||comments (1)|
"I lost myself trying to please everyone else. Now I am losing everyone while I'm finding myself."
I am a people pleaser, without a doubt! I have been a doormat, spineless, and overly eager to go out of my way to do something for someone else to win their favor or affections. Anyone else? Of course I am not alone in this horrible life habit!
My issue is my need to please comes from a good and loving place. When I care for someone, it means I will go to the ends of the earth to help ensure they are happy. I get so invested in the lives of my friends, family, & love interests that their problems become my problems to the point where I will feel the stresses they are carrying around as well as the joy. While this investment comes from a place of love and caring, it gets annoying fast for both myself and the person I am beginning to smother! But I have broken this cycle before, I believe I can do it again.
The first time I overcame my ingrained nature to please (smother) was just after college; I moved from Fresno, CA to Pismo Beach, CA and found and apartment to have all to myself. This was a much needed and refreshing change after years of roommates and 4 girl bedrooms in my sorority. I had graduated, my boyfriend dumped me right before I was set to move in with him, and my best friend and I were on the outs yet again, both relationship’s problems were caused by my mothering. So, what better time to venture out on my own and learn to put myself first? There wasn't going to be a better opportunity than this so off I went!
There were times (many times) where I cried myself to sleep because I was so lonely. There were times where my eyeballs felt like they were going to fall out of my face from all the Netflix binges I went on because I had nothing to do and knew no one to hang out with. And there were so many fewer dollars in my bank account from all the trips to Target & Styles for Less due to me just wanting to be around other people, so I would indulge in a little retail therapy to get my fix of human interaction.
Never in my life had I been on my own, never had I been forced to decide what I wanted to eat, drink, do, or go, until now. I was forced to find out what hobbies I liked and which ones I did to make other people happy. I found out that I am a complete neat freak, that I don't really eat dinner and when I do it was microwaved, I found out I loved to bake, dance, and do yoga! I also found out that I was a true stoner as I would smoke bowls on bowls by myself whilst hobby-ing about my cute little one bedroom apartment! The point was I was all I had to entertain myself so I learned to do just that, entertain myself! But I had to be put myself in a situation where I was my only option to learn all these things about myself, give myself the room and the time to do some self-study!
My next move was to San Diego, it was a year and a half since I set out on my own and I felt that there was no way anyone could throw me off my self-care game. I was so very wrong. I moved in with my life long best friend (same friend mentioned above) in July of 2014, met my now ex-boyfriend that November and by March of 2015 I had abandoned myself and started living my life for them. It's a real issue!!
So now it’s January 2018 and my ex and I have been broken up for about a year and my life long bestie and I have recently patched things up AGAIN! This time I will be sure to hold tight to the life I love and keep up my self-care. I will be sure to remember that my problems are mine and their problems are theirs’s and while if it good to get & receive help, for the most part I need to stay in my own lane.
|Posted on December 11, 2017 at 1:05 PM||comments (0)|
I am beyond over it! Over the slander, over the one sided reporting, over the bad attitudes, deceit, and negativity. I am over the bashing of Police and Military, the very people who ensure we can enjoy the freedoms we have on a daily basis.
NEWS FLASH!! Life is not that bad in today's America! Yes, there is anger, lingering prejudice, and injustice; which can be said about any place in the world. No, none of those things are OK, but they are part of life, just not AS BIG a part as the media would have you think.
But again, life in America is not as bad as the picture the media is painting! Here's why... You literally do not have to leave your house if you do not want to! You can have ANYTHING delivered right to your door in the majority of cities in this country! Groceries, toiletries, clothes, electronics, furniture; there really isn't much you can't buy online and like magic, it appear at your door. You do not have to vacuum anymore, just buy a Roomba. What does consumer convenience have to do with the media? Well, it says that if you are so unhappy with the country which you reside, you can hold up inside your house, not watch the news, and emerge once the dust has settled. We as a people need to realize that it is a LUXARY to be able to turn the news off and literally go unaffected but the drama they are talking about. For example, I live in San Diego and Southern California is currently on fire. However the fire is still about 35 miles north of me and my weekend was essentially unaffected by the chaos that is underway due to these massive wild fires.
In today's America, every human has a lot more free time on their hands compared to 50 years ago. And how are we using that time? To be negative fear mongers and perpetuate fear. Why? Because controversy sells! Controversy keeps the news outlets in business, because at the end of that's all they are, a business. We need to acknowledge that they have a board of executives who only care about the bottom line, instructing producers and journalists to do whatever it takes to keep ratings up. Which is wrong. What's worse, we are enabling this type of news! We are addicted to the drama, and we are showing the media that the filth they are reporting is what we want to hear about. We need to demand more positivity, we need to demand journalistic integrity, unbiased reporting of FACTS regardless of which party the facts help or hurt, we need to let them know we want to hear a positive story to balance every negative story. Because I PROMISE YOU that there are much more good happenings in the world on a day to day basis then there are catastrophes..... Hard to believe I know, but true!
Lastly, there needs to be some sort of consequence for false reporting’s and for feeding news outlets false, incomplete, and misleading scoops. Do not mistake this statement for trying to mess with freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is important, but that does not or should not give people permission to speak lies and present them as truths, which I will refer to as Informative Terrorism. Terrorism is defined as the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims. I believe that many news stories have to sole intention of intimidating us as a nation. Intimidating us to hide our political views if they don't align with the media's for example.
So CNN, ABC, NCB, MSNBC, and FOX and the American People here is a little refresher on some words I think you've forgotten to true meaning of:
Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness
Unbiased: showing no prejudice for or against something; impartial
Fact: a thing that is indisputably the case, the truth about events as opposed to interpretation
Lie: an intentionally false statement, used with reference to a situation involving deception or founded on a mistaken impression
Reporter: person who reports, especially one employed to report news or conduct interviews for newspapers or broadcasts to a situation involving deception or founded on a mistaken impression *** notice that opinion is not part of reporting.
Opinion: a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge
If you feel you would like a more thorough refresher on Journalistic Integrity and Ethics, here you go: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journalism_ethics_and_standards
Now that I have vented a bit, I have a request. Can we please stop rooting for people to fail, especially the president, regardless of your feelings towards him? If he fails we fail, it's that simple. Can we please stop reporting until we have the full story and confirmed it to the true? Can we PLEASE do something about all of the false content floating around on the internet so that we as a people can stop feeling so confused and misguided?
Thank you, Have a great and wonderful day!
|Posted on December 5, 2017 at 2:25 PM||comments (0)|
I'mmmm backkkkkkkk! I am so sorry for slacking off for so long! But, life happened. I moved, got a new job, and went through the toughest year of my life thus far.
As I have grown from my struggles, my interests and passions have shifted slightly. Be on the look out for some restructing of HandyAndi.org!
I will be removing sections and adding new ones along with services offered! I am moving away from the fashion side of things because I am not passionate about it. Yes, I love clothes and making fun outfits but I don't have the drive to photograph and write about them.
I have learned that while it's important to keep up with whats trendy, its more important to fine tune my focus and present high quality content that I am passionate about. Hopefully I will attract like minded people who find my little website interesting and helpful.
What am I passionate about you ask?
> Helping people with Fibromyalgia, like myself, find ways to live a more "normal" life from day to day with out landing themselves in bed for a week.
> Creating art
> Making the world a more compassionate and understanding place without neglecting logic.
> Yoga, healing crystals, essential oils, and the power of the mind.
> Decorating & Design
As always, I am open to suggestions and requests! What do you want to read about? And crafts you want me to try out? Let me know and I'll give it a go!
|Posted on December 5, 2017 at 2:20 PM||comments (0)|
"the meaning of life is to find your gift.
the purpose of life is to give it away"
- William Shakespeare
Christmas season is upon us. Now is the time of year where people spend money they don't have, on things that aren't needed, for themselves and their loved ones. We are totally missing the reason for the season; generosity and togetherness. Everyone is busy all the time, we get it. Sometimes its easier to order your gifts on Amazon, slap a bow on it and call it a gift, but is it really??
Gift, has two definitions; (1) a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present, and (2) a natural ability or talent. This year I am going to take a different approach to my gift giving by gifting my talents to my freinds and family. I am making quilts, painting pictures, and offering my organizational skills to anyone who needs them. So I challenge you all to do the same, gift your gifts this holiday season! They are much more needed then the hottest toy on the market and will be appricaited longer because gifts of this nature come from the heart and are received just the same.
|Posted on June 5, 2016 at 8:00 PM||comments (0)|
Most relationships that start before you are done with school, end. This is because most relationships that starts before age 25 end. For many people college is the first time they experience freedom, but when you think about it, who has any “free-time” in college? There is always something you SHOULD be doing when your out; partying, drinking, getting your nails done, going on dates, or relaxing in front of the TV. You should be studying, reading, or working. Why? Because you are a broke college student that has a planner with every minute of your life scheduled. The fact that some people actually have successful, healthy relationships during this period of their life is mind-boggling. Eventually something has got to give when you are stressed to the max and short on time. Most that time your relationship is what gets sacrificed.
2. Get your “Slutty” out of your system:
College is a great time for this! While most people don’t have time to commit to a relationship, there is always time to have a between classes fling. Sex is important when leading a healthy life. While there are many benefits to sex, one of the big ones is stress relief. And lets face it most college students are stressed for a solid 5 years of their life. This is a time where you are around a large, diverse group of people. Take advantage of this and do a little serial dating so when you are ready for something serious later in life you have a much better idea of what you are looking for and are less likely to cheat because you’ve shopped around and know what is out there.
3. Learn to pleasure yourself:
This tip is mostly for the ladies. How can you possibly have a healthy emotional and physical relationship with another person if you don’t know how to please yourself? If you’re to shy to walk into your local adult store then shop online, either way you need to get down and dirty with yourself and learn what you like with no one around to coach you one way or another.
4. Move to a new city:
For those of you who went away to college and think you have “seen enough of the world” to know what you want, you are more then likely wrong. College is not an accurate example of what people in the real world are like it’s a stepping stone, a sample of the world. This life step hopefully will open your eyes ad mind to that fact that every single human being is different, and where people come from is a huge part of whom they are. If you are from the city and the person you are dating was raised on a ranch, chances are the two of you have different political values, religious values, and ideas on how your children should be raised. Once you learn how to understand people that are different from yourself and the people from your hometown you are better equipped to get through differences of opinions with someone you are dating.
5. Become a independent person:
Many people rely on their parents for just about everything until they are finished with college, some even longer then that. Learning to stand on your own two feet is probably one of the most important steps in you will take in life before you are truly ready to commit and contribute to a serious relationship. Learning to pay your own bills, budget your money, manage your debt are three things most people aren’t taught in school and have to learn on their own. In addition to money management it’s also important to take care of your health, your car, and your house all by yourself. If you know how to take care of yourself you don’t have to be dependent on your significant other. If you don’t know this already, relationships where one person is dependent on the other often consists of resentment and arguments. When you and your significant others are both independent individuals you get to be partners rather then caretakers.
F.Y.I. It’s damn near impossible to become an independent person while in a relationship. Be single for this step in your life.
6. Have roommates, then live alone:
Having roommates teaches you how to pick your battles, how to compromise and share a living space with another human being. It allows you to get the basics of paying bills, grocery shopping, cleaning, and laundry down with people whom you aren’t in a relationship with. You will learn how to be considerate of other people’s feelings, possessions, and space.
Once you have that down its time for you to live alone. Living alone gives you a serious reality check. You will instantly know if your roommates complaints about you never taking out the trash, doing the dishes, or cleaning up after yourself are complete bullshit or completely true. This is because everything is now YOUR responsibility. You can be a dirty or as clean as you naturally are, you can learn what it means to be yourself. This will allow you to better pick a partner for yourself. For example if you discover you are a complete slob you now know you should try to find someone who is a clean person but wont want to kill you for being a pig.
7. Get drunk by yourself:
This is a weird one, but the type of booze you drink says a lot about you. When you think about getting drunk and you’re at the grocery store what do you buy? Wine, spirits, beer, or mix drinks? Plus when you get drunk by yourself for the first time, most likely a lot of repressed feelings come up. It’s a great opportunity to work through some stuff or get in touch with the silliest, most honest side of you.
8. Get rid of all your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend loot:
The old T-shirt you sleep in, the watch you wear with everything, the cologne, perfume, love letters, pictures, sentimental stuff that is in a box in your closet; it all has to go. Who knows why people hang on to items from their failed relationships? If you are holding on to items from past loves chances are you are hanging on the your feelings for them as well. Translation: you are not ready for anything serious with someone new.
9. Go on a weekend get away by your self!
Step outside your comfort zone. Going on vacation by your self is invigorating. Everyone has a different way of traveling. Some travel light, some over pack, some plan every minute, and others just go with the flow. Its important to find out what kind of traveler you are. Once you know this about yourself you can better pick a partner with a personality that is compatible with yours. So often vacations or even just the action of planning a vacation are the cause to the end of relationships. People always saw that agreeing on religion, money handling, and politics is critical to the longevity to a relationship, how you travel should be added to this list.
10. Get a hobby:
If you are a serial monogamous person your hobbies are probably centered around who ever you are dating at the time. Finding something that you are good at and enjoy add it to your regular routine. Its important in healthy relationships that people work together but keep their individual identities in tact. It gives you something to escape from or share with your partner. So many couples get in fights because they are bored. They spend every minute together so they have nothing to talk about. If you and your partner both love reading, get your information from different sources. This way you each have something to bring to the table. If you love hiking, pottery, or writing make sure you keep at it event after you get into a relationship.
Basically become your own person, get to know your likes and dislikes. Take time with your self for yourself. Once you have a strong sense of self you will know exactly the type of person you are looking for. There are many different types of love in the world, the trick is finding someone who you love and who lets you love yourself at the same time.
|Posted on June 5, 2016 at 4:15 PM||comments (0)|
"Every job is a self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph you work with excellence"
I am a millennial. Millennials are unfortunately thought of as a generation of entitled individuals with a poor work ethic & skewed understanding of how the world works once you are done with school & on your own in the real world.
I do not identify with the stereotype my generation has acquired for ourselves & I am working everyday to change how our elder generations perceive us. Won't you join me?..
The other day I was sitting in a hospital waiting room & found myself in a conversation with a 50 gentlemen that lives in Newport, CA. We talked about life, work, & current events. After about 20 minutes of conversation that man felt compelled to tell me that he was very surprised & pleased by my deminor. He went on to tell me how him & his colleges view our generation & how our age group is considered "high risk" to higher when it comes to recruiting. That many company's avoid us like the pleague because we want the world but want someone else to obtain it for us & serve it up on a silver platter.
Rather than being offended, I completely agreed with him. While I know many successful & driven millennials, I would too consider them acceptions to the stereotype. I have met so many poeple my age that talk of having a big house, 5 cars, yaht, & fancy vacations but when I ask them how they are going to achieve those things their answers are along the lines of; "I believe in the law of attraction, if I will it to happen, it just will", "I am going to be discovered", "I haven't gotten that far, but I know I'll have a fabulous life", etc...
Having been a manager of my peers since a young age I have constantly ran into people asking for a raise when they are always late & asking to leave early. My response is "Why do you feel you deserve more money?" & their response is "because money is tight". Ladies & gentlemen, this is not an appropiate response. If someone responds with a list of accomplishments, ideas, responsibilites they have taken on with out being asked & mentions their perfect attendance record, I will than be more enclined to give said person a raise.
This whole I want something for nothing attitude that is becoming so prevelant in our generation has got to end. So vow to fight the stereotype with me! Let's be on time, dress to impress, speak professionally, meet deadlines, take on extra projects, come early/stay late, & dominate every bulliet point of our job descriptions! Autograph our work with excellence!
|Posted on April 19, 2016 at 11:25 AM||comments (0)|
"I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry" -Unknown
I have been on antidepressants now for 4 years (about 10 years too late but what ever). Suffering from Fibromyalgia has its way of wearing down the happiness from your life. When you are constantly trying to be happy, even when you are in the midst of joy, balloons, & cake, you can imagine how easy it would be to want to forget about your problems & constant pain by making other people's problems your own.
I have always been bad about sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, giving unsolicited advice, & meddling in other people's lives. Whats worse is I get so involved in my friends lives that their missteps, trials, & tribulation cause me just as much physical & emotional anxiety as my own. I find myself getting worked up over the tiniest things & the people in my life constantly telling me to back off/butt out or calm down because it's their life & their mistakes to make.
While I get involved for the right reasons (love, caring, & wanting what's best for the ones I love), I often overstep. Its important for us to remember that when we focus on ourselves & lead our lives they way we are barking at others to live theirs that we will be happier with ourselves. And just maybe our happiness & way of live will be a beckoned path for those around you. It is most likely more effective than meddling, that's for sure.
|Posted on April 19, 2016 at 11:15 AM||comments (0)|
"Before you speak: THINK" - unknown
Have you ever been sitting down with a friend, co-worker, family member, or even a perfect stranger having a conversation & the other person blurts out something that is complete nonsense? I have on many occasions. It seems today that more & more people are talking just to hear themselves talk. They are not particularly interested in any response you may have or even if you are paying attention, they just have want to dominate the conversation with worthless words; sometimes these words are false, pointless, discouraging, & hurtful.
Day always told me, "Don't listen to respond; listen to understand". Now that I am older I can now grasp exactly what he meant by that, & my response to that is, “Don’t speak to create sound, speak to enrich someone's mind". Make an effort not to spout out fact that you haven't checked, if you don't know anything about a subject do not feel like you have to state your opinion. Do not surface a problem without presenting a solution & for Christ sakes if you don't have anything nice to say keep your damn mouth shut! The world is full of cruel people & there isn't room for any more.
|Posted on April 19, 2016 at 11:05 AM||comments (0)|
February is the Month of Love. But as I have grown up I have come to realize that people seem to be more anxious to have someone to love than they are to actually love someone when they find them, they are merely happy to not be alone. In my opinion we are really missing the mark if that is how my generation plans on loving throughout their life.
Here are 10 Ways to Love that shouldn't be too difficult for anyone with a warm, beating heart.
|Posted on April 19, 2016 at 11:05 AM||comments (0)|
"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people."
Its holiday season; with the holidays come family & friend gatherings. It’s the time of year where people reconnect with their loved ones and return to their home towns. So consequently, we are all about to start having way more conversation than we do just going about your normal day to day. So while you're sitting around the table swapping stories, what type of mind will you be showcasing?